Delicious Dishing

Tomorrow's the drop-dead mail date for my first 2nd semester packet. I still have so much to do between this afternoon and tomorrow that it's not even funny, but I wanted to take a minute to thank all the amazing people who have made it possible for me to get any schoolwork done while adjusting to life with a baby.

First there was the grandmothers. Sure they had ulterior motives, wanting to get their time in with the new grandbaby, but they were still a trememdous help once Lucy Addison came home. Not only did they do things like laundry and housework, but they were also real grown-ups to talk to during the day!

Then there have been all the lovely people who've called, written, and otherwise sent their best wishes. This can be a challenge for someone who's not particularly good on the phone (I break out in the same sweat as if I were standing there talking to the person), but it was still much appreciated.

The last group has been the most amazing help, however. As I've mentioned in previous blogs, we are consistenly overwhelmed by the kindness of generosity of our church family at Holland Park. So many amazing ladies have been providing us with meals, and let me tell you, we have eaten well. In addition to the generous culinary offerings, these food deliveries give me a welcome adult visitor with whom to converse, and despite my very tongue-in-cheek blog on friends' and visitors' dire warnings, I love these visits!

So now, it's back to work. I've still got papers to write on novels and short stories and a short story to edit. And baby laundry to wash. Maybe this time I'll remember to put the detergent in when I wash it (don't ask.)

Bon Appetit

It's Tuesday, and I feel like I'm still recovering from a very busy weekend. The craziness started on Friday and didn't really let up until Sunday night (late), and yesterday wasn't exactly relaxing. So here I am, days away from my next deadline (I really need to send out packet #3 on Friday), and I'm in no condition to write...anything. I suppose this blog entry will have to serve as my warm up, and then it's down to business, regardless of how I feel.

Friday was one of those days that started out one place and ended somewhere completely different. The first part of the day was devoted to my usual Friday pastime...cleaning the house. Unfortunately, I didn't get finished before I had to meet a friend at Starbucks for coffee (or in my case, tea.) I planned to finish my neglected housework after a quick sip and chat, but instead, we camped out in overstuffed chairs in Starbucks for three hours. Who knew we had that much to say? I think we covered every topic and solved most of the world's problems in that amount of time. Perhaps someone should have been there recording our wisdom. I suppose it's lost forever.

While the Starbucks sit-in was fun, it didn't leave much time for me to run home and get ready for girls' night out, a rare but much anticipated event that, of course, involved food. We hit Takosushi in downtown Greenville. Though I had a little trouble getting the waitress to understand my inability to consume spicy food, we eventually ended up with delicious dinners. As usual, I was the least cool person there. My friend munched her veggies, shrimp, and rice with her expertly held chopsticks. I used a fork. I'm not Chinese. Why pretend? I appreciate their food, but lack the coordination to appreciate their utensils.

Dinner was, of course, followed by a movie. I agreed to a chick-flick (a rarity for me), and we saw Julie and Julia. I won't do an extensive review. I lack the energy for such things today. I will say that it was fun. Meryl Streep was quite convincing as Julia Child, and if you like Nora Ephron's usual fare, you'll enjoy the film. There's nothing surprising or particularly original about the movie, but it's mostly charming. Some of the "drama" felt a little forced, and I wasn't sold on all the choices they made for scene selection (especially in the Julia Child portions), but overall, I'd say it was a rental. Put it on your Netflix and skip the trip to the theater. Oh, and don't watch it if you're hungry. There are too many scenes of gorgeous food to count. You'll be gnawing on your arm before it's over unless you're well-fed beforehand.

Saturday and Sunday didn't prove to be much of a break either. Poor Steve had to work non-stop all weekend, and I was left to my own devices. There were lots of events with church, and I managed to make them all. To be honest, by the end of the weekend I was in social overload. Mixing and fellowshipping is always a bit of an effort for me, and so much crammed into such a short time period was exhausting. My friends are wonderful, though, and I'm glad I got to spend so much time with them. It's just that now I'm going to enjoy missing everyone for a while. Does that make me a terrible person? Probably.

If You Can't Take The Heat...

This past week and weekend had a theme: heat. Wednesday dawned bright and humid, and I began the day quite innocently expecting that my air conditioning would continue functioning as it always did. While the compressor was replaced on Friday afternoon, it was nighttime before the house truly cooled down to its usual temperature. The theme was by then well-established. Sweat, sweat, and more sweat. Even with the somewhat cooler house, there was much sweat-inducing work to do on Friday to rid the house of it's open window and fan induced grime in time for my dad's arrival on Saturday afternoon.

On Saturday morning, I was repaid for all those times I've moved in the worst heat of summer and asked friends to lend a hand. Steve and I helped some friends move into their third floor apartment in some of the worst heat we've had all summer. Boy, am I glad I started working out the other week. I may not be Jane Fonda yet, but I'm certain it helped me through innumerable trips up three flights of stairs. The downside of helping non-family members move in the extreme heat? I had to keep reminding myself not to lift up my t-shirt to wipe my face!

Sunday meant church and returning the much appreciated fans to our friends. I can't remember when I've ever felt such a fondness for an electrical appliance as I did for those two white plastic fans. In the afternoon, I headed back over to my friends' house for the fun part of moving...unpacking, hanging pictures, and making things homey. Like the grunt work of moving, this is an area in which I am very experienced (as is my friend), and we powered through all kinds of jobs like a well-oiled machine. Okay, maybe the well-oiled machine analogy is a bit strong. Too bad there wasn't video of us hanging pictures. Two crazy women beating on the apartment wall trying to find the stud while her husband wanders by making a well-worn stud finder joke. Is there really a man alive who can walk by someone looking for a stud and not say, "Here I am"?

When I got home, Steve grilled hamburgers for dinner. They were amazing. Nothing tastes like summer like hamburgers on a charcoal grill. Maybe that's what prompted Steve to suggest we go get some ice cream. I must say I nearly fainted when he mentioned it. It very well might be the first time in our 9 years together that he has made such a suggestion. Sort of an Invasion of the Body Snatchers: Greer Edition.

Of course, there have been upsides to my drama-filled week of heat. First and foremost, I was reminded of the kindness and generosity of the people at Holland Park Church. In addition to the fans, we had offers of hotel rooms and guest bedrooms. It's such a blessing to be surrounded by such wonderful people. Another upside? People share their no-air-conditioning horror stories. As a writer, this is a gold mine. My aunt even sent me a massive post on Facebook that included not only her air-conditioning history, but also linked everything back to my own. I'm going to chalk it all up to future material. After all, isn't that the cliche: suffering for your art? I certainly felt I was suffering as I sat between the two fans, grateful that I had lost my sense of smell. Perhaps one day I'll write a story about someone sweltering away or about a family getting their first air conditioner or about....never mind. It's time for me to step away from the blog and get some serious writing done. I think I know where my main character would probably get a little overheated and need to sit in front of a white plastic fan that makes a vibrating hum when it oscillates to the right.

Trapped On The Set Of A Time To Kill

Welcome to Day 2 of "Sarah Goes Back to the Dark Ages Before There Was A/C!" Yesterday started out innocently enough. I got up and ate my customary oatmeal, worked out (yes, I'm still doing that), and then took a shower and headed to my dentist appointment. I probably should have taken the dentist appointment as an omen of bad things to come. It took my dentist (whom I absolutely love) 3 separate attempts to get my tooth numb enough to pull of the temporary crown and glue in the permanent one. Good times. 2 hours later, I headed for home, my drooping lip dragging behind the car. As I walked into the house from the garage, I thought, Wow, it doesn't feel much cooler in there than in the garage...what's up with that? A quick check of the thermostat revealed that it was 83 degrees in the living room, and it was even hotter in the back of the house.

Fast forward to last night. I went to church for drama practice. I threatened to extend practice several hours so that I could remain in the lovely air conditioned building. Unfortunately, no one went for my suggestion. As I was reluctantly dragging myself out to the car, I ran into a friend whom I told about my a/c woes. This lovely person offered us the use of 2 wonderful, glorious, beautiful fans and even offered to meet me somewhere halfway between her house and mine. May I take this moment to say that these 2 fans are quite possibly the most innovative inventions ever conceived by man? They saved us last night. After a few miserable hours together in the living room (heat does little to improve my mood or geniality), Steve and I headed back to our sweat lodge, I mean, bedroom to pretend to sleep for a few hours. Mostly I watched TV until the wee hours, and poor Steve cuddled with his cool, wet cloth. You just can't buy memories like that.

The a/c repair guy came bright and early this morning. (Was it my heat-addled brain or was he the kindest man and did he not have a glow about his angelic face?) He informed me that our compressor had gone to that great air conditioning in the sky and that he would have to order us a new one. I wanted to cry. Not because of the money. Not because the air conditioner is only 3 years old. I wanted to cry because he couldn't fix it today.

After he left and I called to break the news to Steve (who was sleep deprived and less that cheery), I headed back to my bedroom and laid on the bed between the two fans to try to get a little sleep. I did manage a couple hours before the sun started doing her worst. Now, I'm holed up in the cavelike house with all the blinds and window closed, strategically poised between the really exquisite fans. Did I mention that I love the fans?

The good news is that the a/c people called, and the compressor will be here tomorrow. So only one more night of sweaty misery. Of course, the kitties don't have a great grasp of time, and so they suffer on in the heat, wearing their fur coats and looking at me reproachfully from time to time. At least, my dad is still in Spartanburg, and I can go meet up with him later in some well air-conditioned place. I"m thinking some ice cream may be in order.

My I-Don't-Have-To-Run-Day(s)

After a long and less-productive-than-I-had-hoped-for week, the weekend did finally arrive. Friday dawned hot and muggy with a side of ick. That's when the phone rang. It was my friend, Martha (or Bess, depending on where you meet her), wanting to meet for lunch. Usually, Friday is my housecleaning/laundry day, but I threw my plans to the wind and decided to spend a few hours with one of my favorite people instead. I was feeling kind of blue anyway, and it seemed like the right choice. So, off for pizza and laughs with Martha. Lunch turned into late afternoon as we sat and talked for 3 hours. It was a marathon of catching up, deep discussion, and bizarre stories. Good times.

After finishing up with Martha, I headed to the grocery store and then home. My journey into the so-thick-you-could-cut-it summer air left me feeling a little snoozy, so I stretched out on the couch until Steve got home. Then it was off to the Barkery Bistro for doggie treats. Downtown Greenville was a madhouse (as usual), so Steve just slowed down and pushed me out of the car when we got near the store. (Okay, I'm exaggerating a little, but not much.) Inside, the lady behind the bakery display case asked me if the dog I was purchasing the treats for was a girl or boy. (Steve later suggested that I should have said, "I hope so.") After I told her my purchases were for a little girl dog, the woman filled a bag with doggy treats shaped and decorated like butterflies and flip-flops. Then she put bright pink tissue paper in for a final touch. Is that classy or what? I hope the dog appreciates it!

After a pit stop at Best Buy (Steve's suggestion for killing 30 minutes), we headed over to a friend's house for dinner. Did I mention that my friend has a Golden Retriever named Molly, and that I LOVE Golden Retrievers? No? Well, now you know. Though the food and wine were wonderful that night (and the company wasn't bad, either), I was pretty psyched about getting to hang with a Golden. Oh, and for the record, she loved the treats. She didn't say anything about the tissue paper, but I'm interpreting all the licking as her doggy endorsement of its pinkness.

We didn't get home until very late Friday night. (I'm certain that most everyone had turned into pumpkins, except for us.) So, Saturday was good for a lie-in, and then we got to work. Mostly, I got to work. You want to see the list? I cleaned the house, did the laundry, reorganized the pantry, and cooked a giant pot of spaghetti. (Steve mowed the grass.) That's okay. Steve had a hard week, and he needed some rest. He had special permission from me to be a vegetable for the entire weekend. (You notice I said be a vegetable, not eat one. He didn't do much of that.)

Sunday involved lots of relaxing, after church and a Sam's trip, that is. I took an epic 3 hour nap, and Steve played video games with a friend. The evening wrapped up with a little movie watching. Steve rented Capote for me, and he watched it with me - even though I'm certain that he couldn't care less about Truman Capote or anything discussed in the film. Such a good sport. It was an amazing film, however, and I'm glad I got to watch it.

Now, it's Monday, and it's back to work. Last week, I struggled as I worked on my story. I'm praying that this week will be better. I'm also hoping that my weekend of rest and doing anything but writing (I did, at least, read) will aid my attempts this week. So, enough rattling on. Here goes.

Warmup

Last night was the second performance of the Theater of the Galaxies (a rather grand name for the VBS skits, isn't it?) We had to do our skit three times, and it got funnier each time. Perhaps the finest moment of acting was my friend Kayla's imitation of a quail (or was it a chicken?) while dressed in Biblical garb. Not something you see every day.


Being the Always Prepared Girl, I brought my camera, and first chance I got, I passed it off to someone who took pics of us during the performance. A very generous man he was, who snapped away faithfully while we said our lines, did jumping jacks, and shushed wiggling kids. If only the camera had been so generous. Alas, when I got home and downloaded the pictures, I found that it was not.



Fast forward to today. After breakfast (my daily oatmeal, Cinnamon & Spice flavor only), I dug the dreaded DVD out the bottom drawer of my dresser. You know the DVD. You probably have one, too. The exercise DVD. I bought it about a year and a half ago. I used it for about a week, and then my life fell apart for a while (hospitalization, broken kneecap, bronchitis, it was a fun time.) So, I pulled the DVD out from under some winter clothes, brushed the dust off my tennis shoes, and I actually.........exercised.



It wasn't pretty. In any sense of the word. I am so out of shape. Even the cats were horrified. I actually heard them hiss at each other. I think they were so disturbed by my appearance that they needed to vent their disgust in the only they knew. Maybe they were unnerved by the elevator/club house music that all aerobics instructors love. That or they were just in shock at seeing me do anything that makes me break a sweat. I'm not big on sweating. Ever.



So, I've exercised, done my devotions, eaten my lunch (a sandwich without cheese), and now it's time for work. Lots of writing to do, and this is my warmup. I hope it's moderately more graceful than my messy marching and contortionist crunches. I know it'll involve better music.

Retail Therapy, or How To Succeed At Shopping Without Really Trying

Sometimes you see changes coming and you have time to prepare. Then there are those times when changes just start coming at you fast, and you just have to sit back and hold on. Apparently, this is one of those times. Graduation is approaching at lightning speed. (This has been the fastest semester in the history of academia.) I ordered my cap and gown this week, and I've been receiving all kinds of info regarding the events of graduation week. It does make it all seem a bit more real. This time two months from now, I'll be a college graduate. It seems like only yesterday (regardless of the cliche) that I was starting at Converse and working full time and wondering if I would ever be able to finish and graduate. Now, here I am. It's all a little surreal. Now, I just have to get through this semester. One more week until spring break, and I can hardly wait.

Of course, I've had four years to prepare for this. It's exciting, but it's the expected result of four years of college - graudation. If I only had graduation to contend with, things would be pretty tame. It isn't just graduation, though. Changes are everywhere. The other day a friend was talking about how things happen in clusters. That rule must include changes. In the past couple of months, I've gone from being an overachieving, overworked, overstressed, super-nerd, reclusive college student with no clear idea of life after graduation to a woman with friends, a life, and a plan. (I'm still an overachieving nerd. No change there.) I've been accepted to the MFA program at Converse, so life after college is going to be, well, more college. I'm so excited about grad school. Two years of hanging out with other writers. It doesn't get much better than that.

School isn't over yet, though, and it has been crazy. We finished the manuscript for Concept (our literary journal) on Thursday. It was such a relief to get it done. Another check mark on my crazy to do list. I also picked up the finalists for the Julia Mood Peterkin Award, and I get to read/judge them over Spring Break. Super fun! I'm going to be in a television commercial on Tuesday for Converse II. That should be interesting. They're going to film me doing my Writing Center/tutoring thing.

The biggest (and best) change in my life right now has been the addition of a new group of friends. Since our move to Holland Park Church of Christ, we've met some really amazing people. Our Sunday night Life Group includes three other young married couples who have taken us in as family. I am amazed daily by their openness and generosity of spirit. As someone who doesn't make friends easily, I have appreciated their patience with me and my innumerable quirks. For the first time in my life, I feel like I am making women friends with whom I can have a close, spiritual relationship. My goal for the future? Try not to mess it up.

Today, I went shopping with one of the girls from Life Group, Terra. She is a kindred spirit and crazy fun. I'm not sure that Mall of Georgia was ready for us. I swear we spent half an hour just looking at the jewelry at Macy's and another at the shoes. A woman after my own heart. It was positively the most normal thing I've done in years, and it felt really wonderful.

Tortellini, Tri-Bond, and the Leaning Tower of Birthday Cake

So another crazy weekend has come and gone. Last week was insane. I felt like I never stopped, and maybe that's good. If I had stopped, I probably would have collapsed. The list of things I needed to do just kept getting longer and longer and time shorter. On the upside, however, lots of really fun and exciting things happened.

On Tuesday, I went to the Elizabeth Cox reading at school. She was amazing! The story she read was wonderful, and she was so willing to answer questions. I bought two of her books, and she signed them both. I also got to hang out with one of my favorite people (who also happens to be named Sarah. Coincidence? I think not.) You just can't beat time with a friend combined with a Panera cinnamon scone.

Wednesday started with a dentist appointment. Fun, fun, fun. My face was numb for so long afterwards that I had to eat my Chick-Fil-A lunch with half my tongue completely dead and trying desperately not to bite anything important. Then it was on to the writing center followed by 2 1/2 hours of creative non-fiction.

Thursday was the most non-stop day ever. Ten o'clock class followed by a lunch break of gift shopping that took so long I had to hit the ubiquitous Chick-Fil-A, and I was still a few minutes late for my Concept meeting. The meeting ran long, and I had to run straight to Buffy class. After working in the writing center, I headed down to print off the Concept stories for the Lykes award contest. Converse printers and I never get along, so this took much longer than I had hoped. I had to drive straight home, run inside and grab my stuff for Bible study, and drive straight there just in time to sing "Happy Birthday to Terra" and then recite my memory verse that I had been practicing out loud in the car on the way there. (I'm out of breath just typing all this.) When I got home from Bible study I almost collapsed. What a day.

My weekend wasn't exactly restful either, but at least it was full of fun. A friend of mine refers to taking a "mental health day" from time to time. Well, let's just say I took a mental health weekend. Friday started with lunch with Terra and her parents at Soby's on the Side. (Have you ever heard of a red velvet cookie sandwich? Well, I have, and it's a beautiful thing.) That night, Sarah came over, and we had tacos and a Rock Band fest. Major fun. Sarah even made a video of our performance of "My Sharona." Let's just say it was inspired. Especially the part where Sarah realized the lyrics were somewhat colorful while she was singing them.

Saturday, we went to the Joe Beam marriage seminar at church. It was great, and he was very funny. Afterwards, Kayla and Daniel came over for dinner and games. The couples in our Life Group have been so open and friendly to us, and it was wonderful to be able to have them over and try to return the favor. So, we all bonded over tortellini and Tri-Bond. Good times.

Sunday night was Life Group at our house. We had a houseful of friends from church, and a garage full of smoke. We had volunteered to grill hamburgers, and the weather wasn't exactly cooperating, so we had to "grill out" in the garage. (Don't worry, we left the garage door open.) I also made a birthday cake to celebrate two Life Group birthdays. Unfortunately, the baking gods were once again not smiling on me. By the time we got around to the celebrating, my cake had started to split in half, the strawberries on top sliding down into the crevice. The good news is that I didn't have a meltdown. (Though my candles did. We had to sing an abbreviated version of the "Happy Birthday Song" before the candles completely ran down the sides of the cake.) We just ate my very deformed, but very tasty, cake. No one seemed to care that it didn't look like a magazine cover. They were too busy licking cream cheese frosting off their forks.

The 3 R's: Reading, wRiting, and Rock Band

It's never boring at the Gray household...at least, it hasn't been for a while. School, of course, remains a neverending blur of work and commitments. I am trying to balance classwork with Concept Literary Journal obligations and reading entries for the Julia Mood Peterkin contest and working in the Writing Center and applying to grad school and scholarships and trying to get some work submitted to journals. At least one thing is going right...drum roll, please...I found out last night that I was accepted to the MFA program at Converse! I was so excited. (Still am, actually.) Feels good to check one small thing off my very long list, well, that and having my FAFSA finally completed. (Thanks to Steve for that.)

If only school were the only thing keeping me busy. There's the everyday, daily stuff like cleaning the house, cooking meals, laundry, grocery shopping, and trying to see Steve occasionally. Then there's my church commitments. Starting next Sunday, we'll be hosting Life Group for a while. I'm actually looking forward to this, but it is another thing on thelist. On Thursday nights, I attend a women's Bible study. This means more homework, but it is so worth it. Once a week, I get to go spend a couple of hours with some truly amazing women. We not only study God's word, but we also get to love and support one another in a deeper way than simply seeing each other on Sunday mornings would allow. Sure, I'm usually exhausted from a full week by the time Thursdays roll around, but I wouldn't want to miss it for any extra rest time. It's such a wonderful time to recharge and pray for one another. Plus, the lady who leads has the most adorable little boy ever, and he is always entertaining.

This weekend will be a bit more challenging than usual (and that's saying something) since I am going to a women's retreat tomorrow (Friday). Our church is having a special women's weekend on Friday and Saturday in Flat Rock, NC. I'm really looking forward to the drive up with the girls and sharing hotel rooms (translation: one big slumber party). It does, however, mean less time to work on school stuff, but I'm just going to have to trust that God will help me get through my work despite my condensed schedule. I'm definitely going to take my camera, so I hope to have some pictures to post when I get back.

My exciting life doesn't end there, though. Steve, too, is having an eventful week, and by that I mean that the Stevie Ray Vaughn songs finally came out for Rock Band. I really wish I liked SRV since I know I'm going to be listening to Steve play his songs on the game over and over for quite some time. (He's playing them as type, in fact.) Ah, Rock Band...It really is a wonderful time to be alive, isn't it?

So that's my life right now. I've probably left something out (like my 1:30 am brownine baking or 2 am history assignment), but you get the general idea. No need to belabor the point. I think the name of my blog pretty much sums everything up right now.

On a completely unrelated note, if I don't graduate soon, I'm going to weigh six hundred pounds and be in desperate need of bypass surgery. I love Zaxby's as much as the next girl, but really, if I eat any more chicken and french fries, I'm going to rupture an artery! Why does fast food have to equal fried? I'm going to start having dreams where angry vegetables are chasing me down and beating me senseless with a cold, hard french fry.

To Nap Or Not To Nap...

Another weekend, another pile of work. Don't get me wrong. Some of the work I really, really want to do, like reading the entries for the Julia Mood Peterkin Award. Unfortunately, I decided that I must do my other work first, and it's far less interesting. Steve's gone for the weekend to Gatlinburg. (He sent me pictures of beautiful scenery from his phone. How unfair is that?) So I'm free to work away and not worry about anyone or anything. Why does it never actually play out that way?

Yesterday was fun...mostly. I planned to go eat lunch downtown with Terra. So of course, monsoon season began, and we were afraid to head downtown where we might have to park far away and traipse through the rain. But Doc Chey's proved to be a fun alternative. (I got my edamame fix.) We ended up staying at the restaurant so long that they sorta-kinda threw us out! Very cool. Then it was on to gelato @ Whole Foods. I had planned to finally try the new gelato bar downtown, but Whole Foods' gelato was an acceptable substitute. Unfortunately, hanging over this afternoon of fun and frolic was transcript drama. I found that they need a copy of my transcript for this one class I took at Spartanburg Tech about a million years ago. When I called Spartanburg Tech, I was connected with a woman who apparently was overlooked at the DMV hiring fair for lack of personality. She was SUPER helpful. Oh, well, there goes my Monday.

So, last night I slept terribly! Sure there was no husband snoring away, but for some reason I just couldn't sleep for more than hour at a time without waking up. Now, I'm trying to get homework done, and I'm getting drowsy. Then there's tonight. It's Game Night for our Life Group. I was looking forward to it. Now, not so much. Why do I do that? I always talk myself out of things. Don't worry. I'm going, and I'll probably have fun. It's just that suddenly a quiet night at home looks so attractive. (Imagine me in my comfy clothes, reading JMP entries and sipping hot tea...very literary.) Tomorrow's church, of course, and I still have to decide what to take to Life Group. (It's potluck night.) So my weekend of R&R hasn't turned out exactly as planned. Such is life, I suppose. On the upside, the house is clean(ish), the laundry is done, and Steve will be home tomorrow...probably trailing a cloud of friendly dirt behind him.

Risky Business

I don't make New Year's resolutions. I see nothing magic about the date, January 1, and I always let it pass without a single vow to give up sweets or exercise every day (as if either of those would ever happen.) Apparently, somebody didn't get the memo, however, because a resolution has forced itself upon me. I'm calling it my "Risk Resolution" because at every turn for the past couple of months, I have been faced with one challenge after another that requires me to take a risk - hold my breath, make the dive, and hope for the best.

The year began with a major change - Steve and I decided as a couple to change churches. This was not a decision we came to lightly or quickly, but once it was set into motion, it snowballed into Risk 101. Suddenly, I find myself going to church with 500 people I've never met. I'm going to Bible studies and small groups and dinners with total strangers. While no one who's met me would ever describe me as shy, the word reticent might come to mind. Just like when I first started at Converse four years ago, I find myself making little deals in my head. Okay, Sarah. Just speak out at least once during this get together...even if its only to ask where the bathroom is.

Then there's grad school. Sure I wanted to go to grad school. And yes, I planned to apply before the school year was out. I've been working on my manuscript for Senior Seminar, and I planned to use that for my grad school applications. Then about a week ago, I got an email about a scholarship opportunity. While I was thrilled about the possibility of being nominated for a scholarhship, this did accelerate all my plans. So I'm meeting tomorrow with Professor Tekulve to go over my manuscript as it stands to see if it's grad school ready. Scary. I have to send my baby (my manuscript) off to total strangers who will tell me if they think I am good enough for their school. No pressure.

Apparently, I decided I didn't have enough risk in my life, however. I had an essay due tonight in my Creative Non-Fiction class. I decided to expand on something I wrote for a previous blog entry (see "The Secret Life of Cupcakes.") I am intrigued by the lyric essay, and we read a wonderful essay for this class that also followed a more experimental structure (See "The Pain Scale" by Eula Biss.) So I sat down to write a lyric-style essay using my blog entry and weaving it with some additional writing. By the time I was finished with my first draft, I was practically in a cold sweat. Professor Howie said he would reward those who took risks, but what if the essay was so bad that he couldn't even see what I was aiming for? I frantically called a writer friend and asked her to read the essay. She generously did so and gave me her comments and suggestions. After working some more on my essay, I was still terrified about turning it in. (This was a reflection on my writing, not Martha's wonderful advice.) As my panic reached its zenith, I sent my email to the long suffering Professor Howie. A portion of the text follows:

I'm freaking out just a bit about my essay that I'm bringing in tomorrow night for next week. For some reason that I can't even remember right now, I decided it would be really exciting to try a sort-of-lyric arrangement for my essay. I just didn't want you to think that I thought it was good. I just decided to experiment, and, now, I'm just going to have to go with it. I know this email is getting more bizarre by the minute, so I'll end it before I start sounding too needy.

Though Professor Howie was very comforting, class tonight did little to allay my fears. Very few of the people in class are writers, and as we workshopped other stories, I found myself disagreeing with most of the things the non-writers said. Next week's workshop of my story may end up a blood bath, but, alas, I have offered up my story as gift to the writing gods, and I shouldn't whine if I get a little singed. I took a risk with the essay, and I'm going to stick to it. It may be a cliche, but I'm going to say it, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

The Party's Over

Tonight was the last night of Fiction Tutorial, and I'm left feeling a little sad that it's over. I'm going to miss the weekly one-on-one conferences with my professor, the classes chock-full of information and great exercises, and discussions with all the talented writers in our class. We did go out with a bang tonight, however. We had a table full of goodies to eat, and Professor Pietrzyk even brought some Beacon tea! The best part of the evening was the time Professor Pietrzyk took to answer all our questions about getting published. Then after telling us all the depressing, nitty-gritty of the publishing world, she gave a great pep talk. She reminded us that all the obstacles in our way were irrelevant if getting published was our desire. It doesn't matter how long it takes, you just have to keep writing - every day - and submitting, submitting, submitting. I've been putting off submitting my work to journals until I was "ready" for too long. After tonight, I feel pumped up and ready to get down to the hard work of submitting...and getting rejected. The only sure way to fail is never to try...cliche or not.

The best part of the day was my conference with Leslie Pietrzyk this morning. She really liked my revision of my story. That makes me so incredibly happy that I was able to absorb everything we talked about and come up with a new draft that synthesized what she suggested, plus the changes I wanted to make. I did get a good laugh, though, when she pointed out that near the end of my story I had a character doing three different things simultanteously...with her hands. When I jokingly suggested that my character actually had three arms, she said that I should have mentioned that earlier in the story. We both got a chuckle out of that. Isn't it funny the little things that you miss in your own work?

We finished our final decisions today for what will be included in the 2009 issue of the Concept Literary Journal. I am so excited because this year we had fewer poetry submissions and more fiction, so the issue will have more fiction and less poetry than the previous issues. Since most of the Concept staff are primarily fiction writers, I like to think that this issue will reflect us and our focus as writers. I am also really excited about the artwork we have selected and, in particular, the artwork that will be the cover art. I can't give the details since acceptance letters haven't been sent yet, but it is really powerful, and I think it ties well with a journal that will primarily feature women writers.

It seems like my blogs have been ending with a paragraph or two that have nothing to do with the paragraphs that precede, and this entry will be no different. When I went through the mail tonight, I found a small card addressed to me. I couldn't imagine who it was from, so I was really curious when I opened it. Inside I found a handwritten note from some lady I had never met - a lady from our new church introducing herself and telling me about all the different classes and Bible studies for women that the church has to offer. This is just another chapter in the book entitled How Holland Park Church Is The Friendliest Church Ever. At every turn, we have been welcomed and befriended, from the first day we visited to every Sunday night at Life Group. After months of prayers about our church situation, we are so grateful that God has led us to Holland Park. Not only do we love everyone we've met, but the classes and preaching have been wonderful, full of deep spiritual teaching and discussion. And to think we found the church via a Google search. Isn't the internet wonderful?

So, it's been a good week so far, a good month really, but the party is about to me over. Next Wednesday Spring Term starts, and it's time to buckle down for the final sprint. Challenging classes (I ended up with 2 honors classes in one semester), Concept deadlines, and a very full schedule will put an end to the leisurely pace I've enjoyed since the end of Fall Term. I'm sure I'll be back in the swing of things in no time, but right now the thought of all that work makes me want to crawl under the covers and hide. I'll spend the next week psyching myself up for the challenge...well, that and submitting my work to every journal I can find.

Glorious, wonderful, unsurpassable SOLITUDE!

Today has been one of those wonderful peaceful days where there's nothing you have to do, so you're just grateful for everything you manage to do anyway. I even went outside and walked today...that's right, I voluntarily exercised. I'm pretty sure that pigs will be soaring by my window pretty soon, so I'm keeping the blinds closed. After a full weekend and with a busy week to come, I'm enjoying the quiet today. No tv this afternoon: just my laptop and then my book. Tommorow and Wednesday will be full of fiction class, writing center, and meetings for Concept. We're almost to the deadline for decisions about what to include in the 2009 issue of Concept, the literary journal at Converse College. All the girls on staff are amazing, and I'm really excited to hear what they have to say about all the submissions we've received.


Of course, there is one upside to being so busy this week: I get to enter all of my appointments into my newfangled phone. I am now completely obssesed with it. Steve and I spent at least an hour, maybe longer, downloading ringtones online the other night. Now, if you should happen to call me, depending on who you are, my phone will either play the theme from Arrested Developement, the opening music for the Hercule Poirot movies, or the killing music from Kill Bill (also known as the theme from Ironsides.) I even found a ringtone that says, "Bueller...Bueller...Bueller?" for whenever I recieve a text message. Everywhere I go, not only will I be able to communicate in short, cryptic burst of text, but I can also celebrate my dedication to the film, Ferris Bueller's Day Off. If you were to leave me a voicemail, my phone would quote a line from Monty Python's Flying Circus. (I think I chose that one just to annoy Steve.)


Speaking of Steve, he gave me a great idea for a story last night. Isn't it amazing how things come to you. I spent the summer writing and struggling through my complete lack of ideas, and I came back in the fall to suffer through a list of classes that had little to nothing to do with writing. I'm three weeks into my fiction tutorial, and now my brain is brimming with ideas. Steve and I were in the grocery store parking lot just loading our bags into the trunk of our car. Not exactly the place where you go for inspiration. And so here we have Exhibit One for the argument against writing holed up in isolation. Bummer. Now I have one less excuse to stay home.


As for staying home, well, I'm making an effort to be less of a recluse. Every Sunday night, Steve and I go to Life Group with a bunch young marrieds from our church. I'm even going to a women's Bible study on Thursday night - chock full of a bunch of women I've never met. This does not come naturally to me. I'm quite content to stay at home with Steve and the girls (the cats) and watch tv or a movie, maybe play a little Rock Band. But, I am trying to do better. Just last week, things seemed promising. I found out that the girls in our small group also shared a love for all things HGTV. We loved and hated all the same shows. So this week when they were talking about movies, I thought, I can join in this conversation, too. Guess again. Steve must be right, after all. I am the only woman on the face of the earth who doesn't like Sleepless in Seattle. All the women were oohing and ahhing over their favorite chic flicks, and the most I could manage was "I like movies where things blow up." (At least the guy next to me agreed with me.)

Apropos to nothing in this entry, I also wanted to include a picture of the wonderful bunch of kids who invaded our house Saturday night. They were so much fun, and Abby is still asking when they'll be coming back.